So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
