nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You pole danced in your parka.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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