thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
