I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
