You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
