mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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