plz talk dirty to me
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's shark week go big or go home
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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