how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
When are your genitals available?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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