butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
