I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
