he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize