So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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