Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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