think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
