You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Vodka?
Forever.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
