We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
