I puked a lego.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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