S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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