wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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