Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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