I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
