i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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