who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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