How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize