I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
