i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
