So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
