That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
