im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
