i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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