We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
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Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
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Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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