I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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