My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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