I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
