Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
