just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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