hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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