I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I checked into jail on foursquare
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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