Pregnant stripper...not hot.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
