You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
