it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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