i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
