ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
