I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize