Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
