Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize