I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize