hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
