perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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