it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
