Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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