You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
