there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Farmville is her only friend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
