I'm sorry my penis didn't work
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
