I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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