do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
