My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
His nipple licking is glorious
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