my vag is so smooth its legendary
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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