Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
